Brevet till pappa

Inför min pappas begravning tipsade en vän mig om att skriva ett brev till honom. Antingen för mig eller för prästen att läsa i kyrkan. Jag valde att be prästen att läsa upp brevet på begravningen. Det gjorde visserligen att att gråten blev desto större och hårdare, men det gav även små skratt i all hemskhet. Jag är idag för evigt tacksam till denna vän för tipset, det räddade en annars fruktansvärd dag. Utan detta brev skulle jag idag känna mig halv. Nu fick jag ett underbart fint avsked av min pappa <3 Brevet jag skrev kan ni läsa nedan... 

 

Älskade Lilla Pappa.



Jag har svårt att finna ord, ändå är det så mycket jag vill säga Dig. Du har betytt världen för oss alla, och ställt upp i vått och torrt. När bilen la av då och då i snöröken under mina år i Sälen, då var det Du som omgående satte dig i bilen och åkte de 10 milen för att hjälpa. För att sen köra de 10 milen hem igen. Behövde något fixas, borras, lagas eller byggas, då kom alltid Pappa till undsättning. I mina ögon kunde du allt.



Jag minns…



När jag var liten och fick åka med i lastbilen till Stockholm. När jag fick hjälpa till att lasta på ASG och åka med på lastpallarna. Tanterna i kiosken på vägen dit där vi åt mat, och där jag fick gå in bakom disken och själv plocka min lilla påse med smågodis. När vi övernattade i lägenheten ovanför tunnelbanan, som gjorde att sängen hoppade genom rummet en gång i halvtimmen och det lät som att toaletten skulle skaka sönder. Bland de bästa stunder jag visste. Och hur vi tävlade i vem som hann räkna flest julgranar på balkongerna på väg in mot stan.



Du tog mig med över till Danmark från Helsingborg, trots att du kört ner till Skåne hela natten.Hur trött måste du inte ha varit, men för din lilla Tina gjorde du allt.



Alla våra stunder tillsammans i garaget där du lärt mig måla och snickra och att fixa saker. Ett ställe du ofta smet ut till för att skruva och muttra lite på något som behövde fixas eller någon smart idé du hade klurat ut.



Alla våra bilturer över Gruckåberget för att titta efter älg med någon av våra vovvar, eller ner till Magnussons för att titta till, ta en promenad eller mata fåglarna. De små fåglarna som du älskade. Det var nästan viktigare att de fick mat, än att du fick det.



Hur du älskade Magnussons, stolt över att få vårda dina förfäders mark. Där trivs vi alla så bra. Ibland åkte du dit för att bara vara. Lägga dig i sängen med Zakk bredvid dig och bara ha det gott. Där kunde du koppla av. Finnmarken var ditt hem, och det är ett arv jag är stolt att bära. För att inte glömma alla historier från din uppväxt om moped- och bilåkning i skogarna till andra hyss innan du knappt var torr bakom öronen. Eller hur du drev din lärare halvt till vansinne genom att sitta och rita nakna damer under lektionerna. För att inte tala om när farmor blev stångad av geten eller när ni kokade kaninerna jag brukade leka med. Mycket har man fått höra genom åren som nu lagras som fina minnen, möjligen med undantag för kaninerna.



En busig pappa som ung – och en lika busig farfar senare i livet. För dina barnbarn älskade du så mycket. Lika mycket som de älskar Dig. När du träffade dem så lös du upp. Dom förgyllde ditt liv, lika mycket som Du har förgyllt våra som pappa, make, svärfar och farfar.



Du har gjort så mycket och träffat så många. Genom dina erfarenheter har mitt liv blivit rikare. Jag har lärt mig engagemang och att strida för det jag tror på. Rättvisa och solidaritet. Bland många, många saker.



Vad skulle jag vara idag utan Dig, kära Pappa? Vad skulle vi alla vara?



Vi älskar Dig av hela våra hjärtan, nu och för alltid. 



Vila i Frid, Älskade Lilla Pappa.



 

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